Witch Hunt

Overview:

(Guerilla-style street theater performance with total running time of under 10 minutes.)

A rapid sequence of interconnected exchanges between the September 11th tempered middle-aged American couple, and several historical scapegoat archetypes, with the purpose of exposing the fundamental blind paranoia and mob mentality currently being encouraged in the culture at large.

Characters:

Mr. And Mrs. Smith- The typical American middle-aged couple, (suit and tie, etc.)

Anarchist

Police officers (2)- Basic costuming- hats, coats, padded nightsticks, cap-gun revolvers.

Witch- Modern Wiccan-type with pentagram necklace.

Native American Spends bulk of scene leaning against wall under a ‘reserved

Parking’ sign.

Queer- need red nail-polish

Afghani doctor need wallet and I.D. card

CIA- type guy- need reflective sunglasses, suit, etc.

Additional props: Large paper roll, clear packing tape or masking tape, red spray-paint

I’m thinking 2-3 rehearsals together and hit the street. Public places, mall, etc.

Open mikes, anywhere we can get a crowd, maybe draw one first with music… I’m open to any suggestions, re-writing of parts, help organizing, input of all kinds… I want everyone to be able to rant through this- let it all out. Let it rip.

E-mail: Gzacchai@yahoo.com

Scene opens on street corner or busy public area (with a wall). All characters except Afghani doctor and CIA-type guy are mulling around the general area. Anarchist is spray-painting a meaningless symbol on the wall. The Smiths are strolling by taking in the scenery, as they spot him he goes into (obvious) hiding until the end of the scene. The two police officers walking casually nearby, unaware.

Mrs. Smith: (pointing at spray-painted symbol on the wall) OOO! Oh my! Officer! My husband and I would like to report some ‘suspicious and potentially pro-Muslim activity!!!’

Cops: (in unison) That is suspicious!

Al: Watch out, Ma’am, they could be anywhere!

(Mrs. Smith looks faint with fear)

Jim: (grabbing the Witch from the crowd) A-Hah! Is this the one?

Smiths: (looking at each other) …ummm, I think so… we’re not sure… hmmm…

Al: Hold on… (places a fake witch-hat on her head and broom in her hand)

Jim: How about NOW?

Smiths: Yes! Yes! ….well, maybe…

Witch: What the hell do you think you’re doing? This is ridiculous!

Al: Oh is it? Then what the hell is this?! (point at pentagram)

Witch: It’s a pentacle.

Cops: (in unison) A-Hah!

Smiths: (gasp and point)

Witch: It signifies the interconnectedness of the universe.

(Cops and Smiths look mystified)

Witch: The holistic distribution of give and take in nature, you morons!

Al: Sounds like socialism to me. Send her over to senator Macarthy’s barbeque-pit, Jim.

Jim: Gladly! (She is escorted away by the CIA-Type guy)

Native American: (leans briefly into scene) She talking about a symbiotic relationship with nature that tranceeds physical boundaries.

Al: All right! All right!

Jim: Back to the reservation, Tanto!

(Native American begrudgingly returns to his post)

Mr. Smith: (pointing at Queer) OOO! There he is! That’s the one! I’m sure of it!

Mrs. Smith: Oh my god! He’s horrible! Keep me away from him!

Queer: Get your hands off me! I just had this pressed!

(Cops grab his hands, drawing attention to nail polish)

Jim: Look at that, Al- same color as the spray-paint!

Queer: Actually, this is more Chartreuse, that is so obviously rouge…

(Mrs. Smith is cowering and horrified, Mr. Smith gets defensively macho)

Cops: (in unison) Pipe down, fancy-pants!! (beat him to death with night-sticks)

(The Smiths jump for joy, clapping)

Mrs. Smith: Thank you, officer!

Mr. Smith: That was close!

Afghani Doctor: (runs to the beaten body of the Queer) Oh my God! What’s happened?! I’m a Doctor! Move back, give him some room!

Smiths and Cops: (aghast, in unison) Holy Shit!!

Al: I knew it! It’s a trap! That little faggott set us up! Call for backup, Jim!(shoots Afghani Doctor 3 times and begins clubbing the body insanely, Afghani Doctor drops his wallet in the beating)

Jim: (picks up wallet, examining I.D. card) Hey! Al! He is a doctor! Take it easy, Al!

Al: (insane with paranoia) YOU TOO! I KNEW IT! (Cops unload all of their ammo at each other at near point-blank range and collapse ontop of the other bodies creating a heap)

Mrs. Smith: (fanning herself) All of this suspicious and potentially pro-Muslim activity has given me indigestion! (rubs stomach)

Mr. Smith: Relax, honey, I’ll buy you a chocolate milkshake with whipped-cream and M&M’s.

(Anarchist comes out of hiding and resumes spray-painting on the wall)

Mr. Smith: Wait!! There he is!

Mrs. Smith: No- wait! (points at someone in the audience aggressively/ accusingly) THERE!! THAT’S HIM!!

(The Smiths make a paranoid retreat away from the scene drawing attention momentarily away from the Anarchist, giving him time to raise a megaphone)

Anarchist: (over megaphone) Welcome to the BIG LIE, ladies and gentlemen! (points at the heap of bodies) Same as it ever was! The Witch Hunt is on! But don’t worry… if your all real well behaved, (pointing over the crowd) maybe the finger won’t fall on YOU.

(Anarchist quickly removes spray-painted symbol on the wall to reveal the word Witch Hunt. He and all remaining players very quickly jump and scatter in separate directions)

END.